The Rutted Path

How many of us started on our path of life with little or no spiritual guidance? I think many have–or we were raised Catholic–with Catholic guilt and Catholic shame, like me.

Maybe it’s my age, maybe it’s the vibration in the world, but I am trying to make an active choice to change my life and who I am. To be humble and kind even in the face of distress or disharmony. To be actively calm and calmly active (and for someone as hyper as me that has been a challenge). To look within instead of being overly concerned with the new lines appearing on my face in the mirror. Because I know I will never truly be happy until I delve deep into my own soul.

There are many that would put us in a mold of their liking, or into the mold from which we may have formerly occupied, not knowing we have emerged. As we emerge from our old molds, we need to be aware of the tentacles that try to ensnare and entice us back to our old comfortable ways. They may be in the form of a familiar face who would like us to return and continue our dance with them. They expect us to play our designated roles as we always have, and it is hard for some to see beyond that expectation. Some will judge, some will think us strange, or that it is only a phase, but it’s important to rise above the judgement and remain detached and unruffled if you want to grow and learn from past mistakes.

To grow in a world full of judgement and expectations is difficult at best. I have spent most of my life worrying about meaningless things like shoes and what to wear, or who has more. Partaking in gossip in order to seek the approval of others—I’m not sure why it was enticing to gossip, but somehow was. Maybe it makes us feel better about ourselves somehow? I don’t know. But I do know it easy to succumb to a gossiping crowd.

On a recent trip to Los Angeles, I visited some sacred temples and walked the hallowed ground of Paramahansa Yogananda. To say I was moved by this experience would be a monumental understatement.

A single tear in a well of Spirit
Flames the ground beneath my feet
I am pregnant with joy, love and peace
As I merge with the vibration of this sacred ground.
His Spirit lives on in all of us.
I walk through the chasm of His devotion
And it springs to life inside my very soul
I am buzzing inside with the sweet nectar
Of His Oneness and the Oneness of all
It sweeps over me like a wave of smooth, soothing water
And flows ever more…

I’m told spiritual growth is like climbing a ladder and that sometimes you slip or fall off. I’ve slipped too many times to count, but I continue to climb regardless, because I know eventually, I will make it through sheer will and determination, and hopefully a little help from above.

2 thoughts on “The Rutted Path”

  1. Very moving, Dorothy!
    Maybe it is our age because I am also looking within for answers of who I really am, and now realize that, low and behold, I am worthy of joy, fulfillment, and creativity! Finally guilt and shame have been tossed in the trashbin where they belong.
    Emerge on, my friend.💖

    1. That’s wonderful Dianne! Youth is definitely wasted on the young! But then again, think of the fun we might have missed….Hope all is well with you all. Miss you!

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